Originally Posted on September 21st, 2010.
Time is coming closer to my leaving India and I am feeling mixed emotions about leaving. Beside leaving love behind for the moment I have a fear of adapting back to a life in a developed country. I have become familiar with life here and many daily occurrences have become sentimental to me. I want to cry when I think about not seeing Chinnuppa’s overly happy face everyday, or Swathi standing on her staircase waiting for me to come home. I have grown used to drinking small servings of Indian tea throughout the day, and smelling jasmine everywhere. I have become dependent on Ayurvedic products and Indian sweets. I am fond of my daily walks that keep me in a steady state of concentration unlike anything else. When I think about Michigan’s winters I cringe because I have become spoiled from Bangalore’s constantly beautiful weather, which amazingly never stays too hot nor too cold for too long. Though life here has been unimaginably peculiar, I will miss the experiences very much. I have been forever changed by India, in some ways that I am accepting of and in others that make me wonder who I have become. I am no longer that person waiting for the experience, my has come and is going. We can always look back in these situations and wish we had lived everyday to the fullest, yet what occurred was meant to be, and the traveling experience is never what we planned. Regardless of my relations with a very proud Indian, I feel that India will continue to pull me in its direction for the rest of my life. It is a country 1/3 the size of the United States, yet it is a country that even the most travelled of Indians can’t fully understand its rich and intense culture.
My writing on this site will conclude once I get back to America and settle myself back into the fantasy. My writing will again become private, my personal thoughts locked away within the pages of my many journals. I cannot help but feel like this a conclusion to a very exciting chapter of my life.
Time is coming closer to my leaving India and I am feeling mixed emotions about leaving. Beside leaving love behind for the moment I have a fear of adapting back to a life in a developed country. I have become familiar with life here and many daily occurrences have become sentimental to me. I want to cry when I think about not seeing Chinnuppa’s overly happy face everyday, or Swathi standing on her staircase waiting for me to come home. I have grown used to drinking small servings of Indian tea throughout the day, and smelling jasmine everywhere. I have become dependent on Ayurvedic products and Indian sweets. I am fond of my daily walks that keep me in a steady state of concentration unlike anything else. When I think about Michigan’s winters I cringe because I have become spoiled from Bangalore’s constantly beautiful weather, which amazingly never stays too hot nor too cold for too long. Though life here has been unimaginably peculiar, I will miss the experiences very much. I have been forever changed by India, in some ways that I am accepting of and in others that make me wonder who I have become. I am no longer that person waiting for the experience, my has come and is going. We can always look back in these situations and wish we had lived everyday to the fullest, yet what occurred was meant to be, and the traveling experience is never what we planned. Regardless of my relations with a very proud Indian, I feel that India will continue to pull me in its direction for the rest of my life. It is a country 1/3 the size of the United States, yet it is a country that even the most travelled of Indians can’t fully understand its rich and intense culture.
My writing on this site will conclude once I get back to America and settle myself back into the fantasy. My writing will again become private, my personal thoughts locked away within the pages of my many journals. I cannot help but feel like this a conclusion to a very exciting chapter of my life.
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